Flowers in the Attic
I was about to make a joke with myself about feeling like I am living in “Flowers in the Attic” but then I looked it up and I said, that was what that was about????? Like I vaguely remember reading it at first and I thought about watching the movie to see if it would help ease my mind in my current situation. …..yeah, these books were a bit more troubling than I remembered and you know what? That’s another thing I am grateful for, the ability to forget the bullshit, the stuff not really for me. So, maybe clearing out this energy may have made me think of those little series, hell I read so much I thought the flowers in the attic was connected to the “Boxcar kids” or whatever those little series of books were. I gave it a hard no to watching the movie, I never watched the movies, but I know I read, skipped through some of the books and the series until a kid a year later made fun of me for reading them, saying I masturbate to them…. or maybe it was those Nora Roberts books, either way, I stopped reading the white authors so much in attempts to somewhat not be bothered about reading so much, I stuck to reading the black authors in public….(eye roll).
I was talking to my nephew yesterday about how there was a big panic when the Lonestar (food stamp) card came out……the church people where scared, convinced this was the beginning of the end, the birth portal huddled us together and said stick with her and she would get us through it. The plastic food stamp card came, we didn’t have to have “666” stamped on our foreheads, on the front of our hands, like the videos they showed us at church lead us to believe….then they started talking about a chip, that was 20 years ago. Unfortunately she is stuck somewhere there, I don’t think she has a choice at this point….I think I have decided she might be a NPC rather than a flawed real person, she keeps her mouth closed and avoids me when she knows things are hard for me but she tries to make things are for me every pay day…..programming huh? She don’t remember all the the reason why I told her I divorce, but she remembered the child support amount……
My point is just this, if you buy into a narrative, story, idea, your spirit will create a life where you are likely to incorporated the fears and worries the story is trying to emit. What you watch is important and who you get information from is important…..I feel like I have known these things forever but I remained a sponge to my environment for years……well, no Flowers in the Attics reference regarding me in no regard. This is my moment where I understand why isolation was needed, one for me to understand I was allowing my environment and the people I was attached to create aspects of my life…..there were so many things, that simply where not me that I incorporated in life as though it was a fact for me, no more. I am with this witch is to break the chains I accepted while I unconsciously bought into the portal’s family. No poor me, just make better choices to break the cycles that bonded us together. I feel if I don’t talk to her AT ALL, she might leave my world sooner or I leave hers, at this point I want to get away from her spirit, she doesn’t deserve a daughter like me or a person like me period in her life. I can rock with the idea I am here until God dishes out whatever plan he has in store, but I promise I will not feel bad if I never ever see her again!!! I swear Universe I have no more limiting beliefs, I have learned my lesson!!!!! Seriously, I can see how overcoming her will help propel me in life but it’s time for my time with her to be OVER!!!!!!!!!
